depths

Maryann sat slumping in her carpeted car seat as the chill from the outside effortlessly seized the vehicles force-field, as well as the one covering the fingers inside her gloves. She glanced into the rear view mirror combing her misshapen eyebrows with her finger until she was satisfied.

"Fuck it's cold," she whispered as she removed her leather gloves and reached inside her bag for her keys.

The engine started with a smirk, she rolled carefully out of her spot pausing for a moment as she ferociously lit a cigarette. With a polished inhale she dropped her cheap lighter back into the bag and continued to make her way out of the lot.

1970s classic rock was muddled in the background by complete silence. She inhaled again, this time cracking her window to ensure the smoke made it's proper escape. The sun was dull, propagating a lackluster gray complexion all throughout her vision.
Yellow light.

Maryann slowed down, gave a quick shiver as she flicked her cigarette out the window and once again returned to the rear-view mirror where she stared blankly into the depths of her own sullen eyes. Her sharp nose was covered by faint brown freckles dirtying her otherwise pretty face. Green light.

Her mind was blank. The streets were nearly empty. She signaled left and pulled into the Texaco station, lined her car with a gas pump, slid her scarred fingers into her leather gloves and continued inside to pay.

"Twenty dollars on five," she murmured, "and a pack of Parliaments." After handing her debit card to the faceless cashier, she grabbed the cigarettes, signed scribbles onto the receipt and hesitantly returned to the car's side. She was numb in every sense of the word; the years of pills and booze, the cold, the gray, and the nothing. They were all hers.

She drove for ten more minutes until she lit another cigarette between her lips, sucking as if one day it would save her. As if one goddamn day it could return the favor and perhaps crave her instead. Wind captured the puffs of smoke out the window where they disappeared into the gray sky. Maryann turned up the radio, applied Chapstick, and found her eyes once again in the rear-view, reminding her that she was alone.